


Four Ways Matt Didn't Tell Harriet and One Way He Did

by ultimateficarchiver



Category: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
Genre: Coming Out, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-04
Updated: 2010-08-04
Packaged: 2017-10-10 22:55:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/105309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultimateficarchiver/pseuds/ultimateficarchiver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>gryvon requested: Matt's not quite sure how to break the news to Harriet that in the year(s) since they broke up, his best friend has become his boyfriend. Thanks to overchay for being the best beta in the world.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Four Ways Matt Didn't Tell Harriet and One Way He Did

**Author's Note:**

> gryvon requested: Matt's not quite sure how to break the news to Harriet that in the year(s) since they broke up, his best friend has become his boyfriend. Thanks to overchay for being the best beta in the world.

_How, Twenty Years Later, Matt Wishes He Had Told Harriet_

It was the best restaurant in the area (there was no such thing as a place like this in town) to break something to someone gently without necessarily alerting them to the fact that something was wrong.

After the main course was set down in front of them - Matt was very strategic - he took a sip of wine, set it down and without looking up from the glass he said, "Harriet, there's something I have to tell you."

Getting very quiet, she set down her utensils, making sure they didn't clink. "Are you sick?" Leave it to Harriet to become immediately somber.

"Well no, but you will probably think so after you hear it." He paused, took a deep breath because Danny had been reminding him to breathe all day, and said it. "I'm bisexual."

"And I wasn't supposed to know that already?"

"Excuse me?" He leaned into the table raising his eyebrows, surprised.

"Matt, don't you remember? I caught you kissing that grip before we even started dating."

"I was drunk!"

"You were fondling him." She was way too amused at his convenient forgetfulness and denial for an evangelical Christian.

"And the years of sex we had after that didn't make you think...?"

"No."

"You never asked."

"It didn't matter."

"I love Danny. I'm in love with Danny. I asked him to marry me, and we're going to Toronto to do it next month during the hiatus. I just wanted you to hear it from me."

"Oh."

 

_Where Matt Was Thrilled He Hadn't Told Harriet_

They didn't have big production meetings with the entire cast and crew frequently, but Danny had called one today. The completely informal agenda was: give a morale boosting speech and go over the next week's show all together instead of having smaller department meetings. So Matt was sitting with his laptop on battery power, switching between taking notes and writing down ideas and writing scripts. Then came 'the good job speech' where he stopped typing because he didn't want to be disrespectful, but turned his mind to work through the problems of a sketch instead of actively listening.

The speech Danny was giving had ended and people were picking up their stuff. Matt closed his laptop, and then Danny said:

"Oh, one more thing." Everyone, including Matt, looked at him. "Matt and I have been sleeping together for six months. That's not going to change. It obviously doesn't affect the show but I'm not going to have us keep bringing pretend dates to the wrap parties or going home in separate cars. If you have a problem, find a way to fix it without involving us. Tell the press, don't tell the press, it's entirely up to you. See you after lunch."

 

_Why Matt Had to Tell Harriet_

Blood.

It was all over his hands. He couldn't stop looking at them. Blood. Not his blood. Yet, he was sure he was bleeding somewhere.

Maybe from his soul.

Could you bleed from your soul?

It felt like it.

Danny had been trying to protect him. Had stepped in the way.

The door to the private room the nurses had stashed him in opened, revealing Harriet. Of course the cast and crew would send her in, thinking she could help him in his foggy, fucked up, fraked up, broken state.

"Matt?"

He couldn't even look up. His lover, his life was god knows where, in the hospital, unconscious. Danny's blood was all over his hands, and it was all his fault because he couldn't stop himself from holding Danny's hand until they had gotten into the car.

Cal charged in at that moment, not even bothering to step into the room, just holding the door open. "Matt, do you know who Danny's next of kin is?"

"Me."

Cal totally mistook what he was saying for a question, given his earlier state of haze. "Yes, I'm talking to you. Who's Danny's next of kin?"

"I am."

"You are?"

"We have papers. I'm his next of kin."

An average looking woman stepped in sideways past Cal. "Sir, what's your relation to Mr. Tripp?"

"We're...." God... thank God Danny had the sense to have them see a lawyer. "We're not related, I have Durable Power of Attorney."

"How fast could you have that faxed over here, sir?"

"I don't know. I..." He hadn't found the lawyer. He didn't have the number. His cell phone was smashed on pavement somewhere in Los Angeles County. Wait. "I have a copy in my wallet." He dug it out, rooting for the miniaturized laminated copy. He handed it to her.

She took it, not bothering to try to read the miniaturized print and clipped it under the clipboard. "Sir, Mr. Tripp has multiple subdural hematomas. That means he's bleeding internally in his skull in multiple places. The pressure is severe and needs to be released. Normally, there's only one hematoma to deal with. In Mr. Tripp's case, there are several and they're in multiple areas of the brain. We can't operate on both sides of his head at the same time. A decision needs to be made as to which side goes first. The side that goes last has a significantly higher risk of temporary or permanent damage. We need you to make that decision."

"Wh... What?" Matt knew he was in a haze but he had yet to hear a question.

"One hematoma is located on top of the psychomotor cortex - it controls the body's movement. The ability to walk and write and eat. The other is placed in such a way that the pressure is building towards his memory center."

"You're telling me I have to choose whether or not he can walk or remember me?!" Matt wasn't prone to hysterics but that idea had him about sixty seconds away from hyperventilating.

"Sir," she placed a hand on his shoulder. "These are possibilities. I can't guarantee there will be a problem, I can't guarantee that there won't, but every moment we wait increases the likelihood of serious consequences. Mr. Tripp obviously trusts you to know what he would want. So, what would he want?"

Danny.... It would kill Danny not to work. But it would kill him to hurt Matt, and Matt would die inside if the love of his life didn't even know his name anymore. Christopher Reeve did all kinds of things as a paraplegic....

"His memory," he asserted. "He would want his memory more than anything."

"Okay." She checked off a box. "We need you to sign this consent form." He signed on the line like a tornado and handed it back to her. She started for the hall. Looking towards her he could see lots of light compared to the dark room he was in, so much so that he was almost blinded, but there were blobs that seemed like Jordan and cast members trying to hold a vigil. Cal was close enough to him that he could smell the man's aftershave.

"Doctor?"

She turned around to face him.

"I love him. He.... He has to be okay."

"We'll do everything humanly possible. And more." She nodded solemnly and took off running towards the big swinging doors that had the imposing "Employees Only" letters on them. Leaving Matt to sink to his knees, his head to his hands, the blood on his hands - still wet.

Staining his face.

 

_When Matt Didn't Tell Harriet At All_

Of course, a driver high on cocaine had hit Danny while he was crossing the street. Irony. What a bitch.

So here was Matt in a black suit, standing on green grass with a blue sky, looking at Danny's casket.

Part of him wanted to get so high. For Danny. Because it turns out sobriety wasn't all that good for him. For himself. Because this pain was like a corset around his body and his poor bones didn't know what to do with the stress. For the studio. Because then they could just fire him and get a new writer and a new executive producer instead of postponing the show for another week. For the cast and crew. Because then they wouldn't have their memories of Danny tarnished by finding out he'd been lying to them for years.

Most of all he wanted to be in a small, dark place where there were no words. Because there were too many words in his head. Words he should have said to Danny. Words explaining to the world why their homophobia was wrong. Words declaring his love. Words venting his rage at that driver. Words he wanted to scream at Jordan for getting them into this job. Words he wanted to say to the dealer who sold the stuff to the driver while he beat his skull in. Words he wanted to say to the politicians who could fight their 'war on drugs' better if they were high themselves. Words he wanted to whisper in Danny's ear after they'd made love and in the morning before he woke up. Words he wanted to scream while he was getting fucked in his office so everyone they worked with would know that this wake, this funeral, this burial wasn't the loss of his best friend; it was the loss of the only person who mattered.

He was a writer and his world was words. But no words would ever bring Danny back, so he stood there. He said nothing. He went home and typed it all into his laptop until it was a novel and then he held down the delete key until it beeped at him.

Because no words would ever bring him back.

 

_What Actually Happened_

The knock at the door took him by surprise. It was a Sunday morning and the human population, at least usually, could be trusted to leave well enough alone and wait to a decent hour before awakening their brethren. But, apparently not today.

Danny grumbled, turned over and saw Matt in peaceful catatonia. He couldn't help the warmth that overcame him despite the when and the why for his looking. He rolled out of bed, shocked by the coolness of the air. He got his balance and reached for Matt's robe on the side of the bed. He managed to cover himself on the way to the door. If it was the Jehovah's Witnesses, may their god help them.

He was not, unfortunately, that lucky. There stood Harriet, who, upon seeing a Danny without his morning cup of coffee and wearing what she knew to be Matt's robe, in front of Matt's door, got a very puzzled look on her face. She looked over at the numbers on the side of the building, and turned to check the street. Yes, she was pretty sure this was Matt's place.

Danny woke up out of his fog really fast when the organs inside his chest started dropping into his stomach, making him nauseous. Oh, this was so many levels of bad, worse, worser, and worst.

"I'm looking for Matt. I didn't step into an alternate universe where you guys have switched houses, right?"

Completely unsure of what to say, and even more doubtful of his ability to get the words out of his mouth if he did, he stepped away from the door to open it, inviting her in silently. Not knowing what else to do, she followed.

The first thing that confronted her was the couch.

A completely unrumpled, blanketless couch. Which didn't strike her as odd until she stared at it for a moment.

"Um, yeah.... He's not up yet."

Harriet turned back to Danny which meant he got a first hand look at the puzzle in her eyes trying frantically not to piece itself together.

"I really need to talk to him."

Of course his penchant for being Matt's Defender and Protector chose that time to kick in when he said, "He slept like ten hours this week, Harry. I'll have him call you when he gets up."

"I was at church today and the pastor was talking about relationship evangelism and I realized th-" Matt's voice interrupted her, shouting from the direction of the bedroom.

"You took my robe! Don't I keep telling you to bring your own stuff over here like we actually live together instead of -" Matt's voice stopped cold when he saw her. His face dropped. Danny realized he had gone too long without breath and finally opened his mouth to gulp air. This was it, Matt would end it now. It had been great while it lasted. Had he memorized enough to last him the rest of his life? What was the fastest way out of here?

"Harriet," Matt said.

"Matt." They were caught staring at each other.

And then Matt did something totally unexpected.

"I love him, Harry."

Danny didn't know whether his heart was skipping beats, or having an infarction, or bursting out from between his ribs, but holy crap, Matt had just said those three words for the first time - in front of Harriet. To Harriet. Definitely a heart attack. Definitely.

Questions bounced around Harriet's head so fast and so hard she couldn't make out the words they were made of. Finally, she got out: "How long?"

"How long have I loved him? Or how long have we been... together?"

Silence filled the room for too long, so Matt clenched the blanket he'd taken off the bed around himself tighter and Danny shifted his weight from foot to foot and Matt finally answered both interpretations of the question. "I've loved him since the first moment I saw him." And didn't that send Danny into a tailspin. They'd never talked about it; there were too many other things to worry about. "We've been together for almost six months."

"I have to go," she said.

"Harry..." Matt got out, taking a step towards them.

"I'll see you tomorrow." And then she was gone.

Matt looked at Danny and Danny looked at Matt, and finally Danny smiled and relaxed because Matt hadn't lied and he hadn't tried to cover it up or apologize for it - for them - and perhaps most significantly he hadn't gone after Harriet. Matt relaxed then too.

"I don't know whether this calls for coffee or alcohol," Matt stated, returning Danny's smile.

And, proving again how much Matt loved him, Danny said, "How about both?"


End file.
